Hindi Funny Facebook Status and Messages

Ladke narak mein bhi mile to

Posted by M K D, Admin

 Who is a Boy?
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 Ladke wo hai,
 Jo marne ke baad narak mein bhi mile to,
 Waha bhi kehte hain:
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 “Abe yamraj ki ladki dekhi”..?
 Kya maal hai yaar” 

Ek bacha boy girl ko kiss karte hue dekh leta hai. Bacha: mujhe bhi karne do Warna main apke papa ko bata dunga. Ladki: Le yaar tu bhi karle, Bacha kafi try karta hai, Par wo height me kam reh jata hai, Baccha pareshan ho kar. “Bhaad mein gayi duniyadari” Jo kam galat hai.. Wo galat hai.. Main to bataunga!!

1 Bacha bohat der se ro raha tha Maa ne pocha Mere laal ko kya chahiye? Toffee Bhishkit Ya Milk? Bachcha: Bas Ek sanam chahie aashqi ke liye..!!

Phool Bina Khushboo Bekaar Chand Bina Chandni Bekaar Pyar Bina Zindagi Bekaar Mere SMS Bina Aapki website Bekaar!:)

Ek pagal dusere se: Yaar tuzhe pata he Bharat or Hindustan ke bich jang chid gaye he Dusra pagal: Tu chinta kyu karta he be, hum to India me rehte he.

1child 1rs ka coin kha gaya. Kuch din baad potty mei uska coin bahar aa gya to child maa se bola- Aaj bahut din bad fasi hui payment mili hai.

”:Shohar Biwi se: Ye kya tum ek aur suit le ayi? Abi parso hi to.. Biwi chilla kar boli: kya kaha?!! Kya parso? Bolo… Kya kha tumne? Kya parso, parso kya, bolo jaldi!! Batao kya parso…? Shohar: kuch nai, mai bas ye keh rha tha k parso b ek hi suit lyi thi, aaj 2 le aati._. :D…gdnite…byE

Ek murgi aur uske teen bache road cross kar rahe the. Road cross karne ke baad murgi ke ek bache ne kaha, “Aakhir hum paanchon ne road cross karliya”. Paanch kaise? .. .. .. .. .. Socho Socho … .. .. .. .. .. Kaise Hua? .. .. .. .. .. Aur Jara Socho .. .. .. .. .. Are bacha hai, kuchh bhi bol sakta hai.

Boy ab hamari shaadi nahin hogi

Posted by M K D, Admin

 Boys will be boys!!!
 Boy : Kal main tumhare ghar gaya tha,
 lagta hai ab hamari shaadi nahin hogi.
 Girl : Kyun ?
 Papa se mile the kya ?
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 Boy : Nahin, tumhaari chhoti behen se mila tha.. 

Girl demanded for Icecream.. boy purchased it,.. Girl: Thank u.. Boy: Only thank u..?? Girl : u want kiss na,,? Boy: chup kar … Aadhi Ice cream de… ;)

Khuda bachaye hume in hasino se, Khuda bachaye hume in hasino se, Lekin in hasino ko kaun bachayega.. hum KAMINO Se :) Wah wah!!

Ya Allah…. Ye Safar ka Mahina hay. Is safar k Mahinay Mein Mujhy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . HUMSAFAR Mil Jaye.:) Ameen

Khabardar Miss Call Sehat Ke Liye Muzir Hai Tabiat Ziada Kharab Ho To Call Kijiye Tamam Sms Waldain Ki Pohanch Se Door Rakhye Vizarat-E-Tum Hakoomat-E-Hum

Dear Jigers! Miss U yaroo Tum dosto k bagair Life aesi hai . . Jesyyyy … . . . jese imran hashmi ki movie radio pe chal rahi ho……really yar :D

Kya Aap Pareshan Hain

Posted by M K D, Admin

 Kya Aap Pareshan Hain ?
 Dukhi Rehte Hain ?
 Neend Nhi Aati ?
 Kisi Kaam Me DIL Nhi Lagta ?

 To.
 To.
 To.
 Samajh Lo Ki
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 Vitamin "She" Ki Kami Hai...!!! 

Malik: Tum bathroom me kyu ghus aaye,
kya tumhe pata nahi tha ki mai naha raha hoon? Naukar: Hazur galti ho gayi,
mai samjha tha begum sahiba hai.

Bahu ke ghar aane pe saas ne kaha: Beti,
aaj se mujhe Maa aur apne sasur ko Papa kehna.
Sham ko pati ke aane par biwi boli: Maa bhaiya aa gaye.

In park, a boy & girl were sitting!
2 dogs kissed each other
Boy- Jaanu agar tum bura na mano, to main bhi..
Girl- Ok! Par sambhalkar! Kutta kaat lega

Ek mom ne apne beti ko pyaar karne ka style sikhaya: Mom:Jab bf kiss kare to bolo “don’t” Aur jab gale lage to bolo “stop” 2nd day beti: Mom usne dono ek saath kiya to maine bola “don’t stop”.

Hitler raha nahi, Saddam pakda gaya, Bin Laden ka thikana nahi, Veerapppan mara gaya, Aap bhi dikhte nahin, Lagta hai dharti par satyug aane wala hai

Boyfriend ne GirlFriend ka Mobile nikala

Posted by M K D, Admin

 #Boyfriend ne chupke se #GirlFriend ke purse se #Mobile nikala,
 ye dekhne ke liye ke mera no. kis name se save hai,
 Honey ya Darling !!! ;)
 He was shoked 2 see the name!!
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 RECHARGE WALE BHAIYA...!!! :

Suna hy. . . Miyaan aur Bevi 1 Gaari k 2 paiye hain…!!! , , , , , , , Koi meri AMMI se pochay, Mjse kab tak One wheeling karwani hay??? :D :D :D

Faraz Ka Aakhri Shair, Jo Us ne Hospital men Ek Nurse Ko Kaha Roz Rehti Ho Is Kafan Jaisay Libas Mein Roz Rehti Ho Is Kafan Jaisay Libas Mein —– Aj Kala Joraa Paaa Saadi Farmaish Tay

Ladka apni dilruba se poochta hai,
"Kya pyaar karna paap hai?" Ladke ka dost uske kaan mein bolta hai,
"Abbey patli gali pakad peeche uska baap hai"

Shaadi ke doosre din beti apni maa se,
Aaj meri unse bahut ladai ho gayi! Maa: Beti shaadi me jhagde to hote rehte hain!
Beti: Wo sab to theek hai! Par ab LAASH ka kya karoon?

Papa: Aaj tak tune aisa koi kam nhi kiya jisse mera sar uncha hua ho
Beta: Maine ek bar aapke sar k neeche 2 takiye lagaye to the

Baap: Tipu sultan kaun tha?
Beta: Pata nahi
Baap: School jao to pata chale
Beta: Ramesh uncle kaun hai?
Baap: Pata nahi
Beta: Ghar par raho to pata chale

Hamare Pyar ke bare Kisi Ko Mat batana

Posted by M K D, Admin

 Ladkiya nahi sudhregi...
 Boy: Darling Hamare Pyar Ke Baare Mein
 Kisi Ko Kuch Mat batana
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 Girl: Teri Behan Ko To Zarur Bataungi
 .
 Kamini Kehti Thi Koi
 Kutta Hi Hoga Jo Tum Se
 Pyar Karega..... 

Gabbar-ye hath muje dede thakur
Thakur-nai
In hatho se me dosto ko msgs krta hu
Yejo is waqt msg padh raha h is ke hath lele
Ye kabhi msg nai krta

Ek sharabi roz shiv mandir mein matha tekta tha!
Ek din pujari ne Shivji ki jagah Ganesh ki murti rakhi
Sharabi aaya, bola "Chhotu! Papa se kehna uncle aaye the"

Doctor: tabiyat kaisi hai ab
Mariz: pehle se zayada kharab hai
Doctor: dawai kha li thi
Mariz: nahi dawa ki bottle to bhari hui thi
Doctor: I mean dawai lay li thi
Mariz: ji aap ne di thi to mein ne lay li thi
Doctor: bewakuf dawai pee li thi
Mariz: nahi jee dawai to laal thi
Doctor: abe gadhe dawai ko pi liya tha
Mariz: nahi sahab piliya to mujhe tha :)

Mama ne nayi swift car li,
Swift car k peche likhwaya
"Saawan Ko Aane Do"
Peche se truck ne thok diya,
Truck par likha tha
"aaya saawan jhoom ke"

1 medical student ne apni classmate ko khoon se luv letter dekar kaha,
muje iska jawab jarur dena Ladki: Tumhara blood group A+ he or calcium ki kami he

Hame Kya Mila Baba Ji Ka Thullu

Posted by M K D, Admin

 Arz Kiya Hai...
 Ham Uske Liye Jee Rahe The,
 Ham Uske Liye Mar Rahe The,
 Ban Gaye The Uske Pyar Mein Ullu,
 Itna Chah Kar Bhi Hame Kya Mila???
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 >
 "BABA JI KA THULLU" 

Teacher: Batao bachcho, jo galat kaam karte he wo kaha jate he? Student: Sharmate huye bole sir, Central park, Victoria,
Nalbaan, Millenium park

Asmaan me tum ho, samundar me tum ho, zamin pe tum, hawa me tum,
jahan b dekho tum hi tum ho. DOMEX wali aunty thik
kehti thi KITANU har jagah hote hain.

Girl: Ye rate ye hawaye ye chandni ye ghataye ye nadiya ye kinare
BF: Abe tu pyar kr rahi he ya mausam ki jankari de rahi he

Bachcha: Papa mujhe baaja dilao
Papa: Nahi, tum sabko tang karo ge
Bachcha: Nahi papa kasam se jab sab so jayenge tab me bajaunga

Boy- Mere sath chalogi
Girl- kaha?
Boy-jaha tum kaho.
Girl-ok ! police station chalte hain.
Boy-lo batao ab banda apni bahen se mazak bhi nhi kr skta..

Kaun Doodh Aur Anda Bhi Deta Hai

Posted by M K D, Admin

 Murgi Anda Deti Hai,
 Aur Gaay Doodh Deti Hai,
 To Aisa Kaunn Hai
 Jo Doodh Bhi Deta Hai... Aur Anda Bhi Deta Hai?
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 ?
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 Dukandaar...... ha Ha Ha Ha.. :D

Mareez Nurse se: paani pilao.
Nurse: kya pyaas lagi hai..?
Mareez ghussay se:
nahi, gala check karna hai
leak to nahi... :D

Innocent baby handling his crush-
Main tumhe bhulne ki bahut koshish karta hoon..
Par kya karoon mummy roz badaam khila deti hai aur tumhari yaad
fir aa jati hai ;-)

Kya aapke toothpaste mein namak hai

Posted by M K D, Admin

 Ek Bar Ek Aadmi Ko Ek Bahut Badi Bimari Ho Gyi.
 Doctor Ne Sare Test Karne Ke Baad Use "NAMAK" Khane Se Mna Kar Diya
 Or Kaha Ki Agar tumne Galti Se Bhi "NAMAK" Kha Liya To Tumhari Maut Ho Jayegi.

 Uss Din Se Wo Aur Uski Patni Poora Dhyan Rakhne Lge Ki Koi Galti Na Ho.
 Par Achanak Ek Din Us Admi Ki Laash Bathroom Ke Andar Padi Mili.
 Sab Hairaan The Ki Itni Sawdhani Ke Vabjood Aisa Kease Ho Gya.
 Baad Mein "POST-MARTAM" Report Se Pta Chla Ki Uske "TOOTH-PASTE" Mein Namak Tha....
 Kya Apke Tooth-paste Mein Bhi Namak Hai

Ek Ladki Bolne Wala Tota Kharidne Gai
Ladki Totay Se:Main Kaisi Lagti Hoon?
Tota:Awara Lagtee Ho
Larki:Tota Badtameez Hai
Dukandaar Ne Tote Ko Pani Me Dubaya Aur Pocha: Gaali Dega?
Tota :Nahi
Ladki:Agar Mere Ghar Par Mere Sath Ek Admi Aae To Tum Kya Sochoge
Tota:Tumahra Pati Hoga
Larki:Agar 2 Admi Ho To?
Tota:Pati Aur Devar
Larki:Agar 3 Ho?
Tota:Pati Devar Aur Bhai
Larki:Agar 4 Ho To?
Tota:Pani Le Aao Mene Pehle Hi Kaha Tha Ke Awara Hai

Master: Kanjoos bole to kaun
Student: Hum chahe jitne bhi 'SMS' kare uska 'reply' jo na kare vo
Master: Uski ek example do
Student: aapki ki beti

Aayo aaj iss sharab ko khatam karte hain

Posted by M K D, Admin

 Sharab body ko khatam karti hai,
 Sharab samaj ko khatam karti hai,
 Aayo aaj iss sharab ko khatam karte hain,
 Ek bottal tum khatam karo ek ham khatam karte hain… !!!

Jyotishi Monu ka hath dekhar: Beta tum bahut padhoge
Monu: Padh to mai 3 saal se raha hu, yeh batao ki pass kab hunga

Ek pagal khali paper ko bar bar choom raha tha
Doosra pagal: Ye kya hai?
Pahla: Love letter he
Doosra: Magar ye to khali he
Pahla: Aaj kal bol chaal band he :)

Judge Mujrim Se:Tumhari Akhri Khuwaish Kya Hai ?
Mujrim:Jyada nahi, Ek Mobile Nokia N73, 5 Crore Rupey,
Aap Ki Beti Se Shadi, U.S.A Ka Visa aur Ek Private Jet.

2 sharabiyon ne talab me chand ki parchhayi dekhi
1st- ye kya hai?
2nd-abe ye chand hai
1st-sale ghar chal hum mazak mazak me chand par pahuch gaye

Fakeer: 1 rupia dede baba
Aadmi: Sharam nai ati itnay hattay kattay khubsurat nojawan ho k bheek mangtay ho
Fakeer: Acha pher apni behan ka rishta day de

Jhuha Dost Jaan maango to de denge

Posted by M K D, Admin

 Jhutha tha wo #Dost..?
 Jo kehta tha #Jaan bhi maango to de denge.
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 Aaj wo apni g.f. ko Jaan kehta hai
 Aur maango to #Kamina gaaliya deta hai 

India mein Insaan jyada khush kab hota hai

Posted by M K D, Admin

 India mein Insaan sab se jyada
 khush kab hota hai ?
 .
 .
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 jab railway fatak band ho rha ho
 aur us'se pehle wo apni gadi nikal le ...
 Kasam se Olympic race jitne wali feelings hoti hai 

Kya karein in pyare dosto ka

Posted by M K D, Admin

 Kya kare in pyare-pyare dosto ka..
 Jo dheere-dheere hame bhula rahe hain
 .
 kabhi kiya karte the dheron msg
 Aaj ek-ek paisa apni shadi ke liye bacha rahe hain.. :D

3 Rishte kab pehchane jate hain

Posted by M K D, Admin

 3 Rishte 3 Waqt par pehchane jate hai
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 1- Aulaad Budhape me
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 2- Dost Musibat me Aur
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 3- Girlfriend Thandi Mein